That’s right. At the beginning of the week, I finished the first draft of Only in Whispers. It was amazing, it ended with scenes I never envisioned, and it made me realize how far my characters had come. It’s weird to not feel pressured to write constantly anymore, and whenever I’m on Facebook I think, “Shouldn’t I be writing?” before realizing that until November, I’m taking a write holiday. So weird.
Not only that, but I got my first royalty from CreateSpace for Kiss of the Fey! This is only my paperback sales since I accidentally published my eBook with a different email (so that it isn’t linked to CreateSpace), so that’ll be another $5 whenever they release that. I’m a published, paid author! And that’s enough for pizza!
Just so you all know, I still have a rafflecopter giveaway going on! I guess I’m terrible at giveaways, because no one has entered, so if you want a chance to win a free copy of Kiss of The Fey (and bookmarks!) click here.
Now that you’re all updated on my life, we can continue with the list.
- Tell everyone.
- Including people who don’t care about writing.
- “Oh, does that mean I can read it?”
- “No, first drafts are shit!”
- Relax.
- Think about all the terrible mistakes you know are waiting to be edited out.
- Freak out a bit.
- Try to relax again.
- Fail.
- Give up on writing.
- “Um, but didn’t you just say that all first drafts are shit?”
- “This is extra shit! Steaming shit! I should never write anything again!”
- Get a new idea.
- Outline it.
- Get excited about it.
- Write chapter one before feeling guilty about the novel you need to edit.
- “I thought you said you were never writing again?”
- “I lied. Isn’t this scene awesome? I’m writing about a pirate who travels through black matter and sings karaoke and steals diamonds to use as rocket fuel.”
- “Uh… right. You have at it, then.”
- Stall at chapter three.
- Remember you first novel.
- Open it back up.
- Read the first paragraph.
- Groan at the terrible errors.
- Stay up late into the night surface editing.
- “Are you planning to recycle all that?” your significant other asks, looking at the stack of paper next to you.
- “Oh… no. These are my editing notes.”
- “So you are writing again?”
- “STOP QUESTIONING MY LIFE CHOICES.”
- Tell your writing group.
- Smile like crazy because they are the most awesome people. (Note: If you don’t have a writing group, I suggest joining the NaNoWriMo group on Facebook. Even if you don’t do NaNoWriMo. They’re great.)
- Tell your mother.
- “Does this one have sex scenes too?”
- “Um… yes.”
- *sigh* “We can’t let your grandfather read this one either…”
- Remember the terrible sex scenes in your novel.
- Read them.
- Cry again.
- Buck up and ask your significant other for a practical lesson.
- “No really, it’s for research! We have to!”
- “You should write more books…”
- Write a list instead of editing.
- Write a list instead of planning your next novel.
- Write a list instead of doing homework.
- They can be different lists.
- Go to CreateSpace and create a profile for your book.
- Even though it’s not even a second draft.
- And you don’t know if you’ll self-publish.
- Decide that you need to establish yourself as an author.
- Start blogging about it.
- “Oh, when’s your book coming out?”
- “Um, what book? Untitled hasn’t even been edited yet. My main character’s sister is still named PICKLE.”
- Attempt to explain poor PICKLE’s tragic backstory while keeping a straight face and still calling her PICKLE.
- While explaining it, realize you wrote a plot hole.
- Rush home and open your novel.
- Rewrite the scene, kill off PICKLE.
- No one likes pickles anyways.
- Find the motivation to finish editing your first draft.
- Think you’re done.
- Don’t hear the experienced writers laughing at you from behind their computers.
- “You can read my novel now!”
- “Um, there are a lot of problems. Your main character either has two dads AND a mom or a dad with two names, you don’t explain how the killer escaped the first time, and there were a ton of typos.”
- “Noooooooooooooooooooooo. Second drafts are also shit? That’s not right! I’m a terrible writer!”
- *gives some space*
- Complain online that you will never be a real writer.
- Be virtually slapped by someone more experienced.
- Buck up and continue writing, get all the way to chapter seven of your new novel.
- Stall again.
- Go back to your first novel.
- Read through it again.
- Rearrange things.
- Put in more character detail.
- Take out irrelevant scene detail.
- Make your characters more consistent.
- Correct Microsoft Word once again about your character Wren not having a grammatically incorrect name.
- Realize that you have a third draft.
- Push it aside for a while, remembering last time.
- Realize that life can’t be writing 24/7.
- Take some time to relax with friends.
- “Honey, I finished your novel. I think I finally understand, the princess loves the king, but then the prince was under a love spell so he wanted to save the princess from the king, but the princess didn’t really need saving-”
- “Mom, I took out that subplot ages ago. Here’s the newest draft. There are dragons this time.”
- Crack your novel open one more time.
- Edit again.
- Then double-check for errors.
- Go to your writer group and look for beta readers.
- Contact lots of them.
- Send out lots of copies of your novel.
- Get two critiques back.
- First one: “The pacing was too slow.”
- Second one: “The pacing was too fast.”
- Explode.
- Take it with a grain of salt, rewrite problem areas.
- Edit again.
- For those with money, professional editor.
- For those who want to, submit to a publishing house.
- For those who don’t, self-publish.
- For those who want none of that publishing nonsense, post online for free.
- Advertise your book everywhere you can.
- Apologize to your significant other for everything you put them through.
- Start the process over again.
For those of you who disagree with my methods, what’s the first thing you’d do when finishing a first draft?
Writing Madness 